So, here’s the deal. As you probably know I’ve been going to the same barber for some time now. I started going down there right after Sonja, the girl who owns the shop, opened up and have stuck with her throughout. She’s had a number of different people working for her that have left. One of them was the girl who had been cutting my hair for a while.
I considered going with this girl, who’s name I can’t seem to remember, but in the end I decided to stay loyal to Sonja cause I knew she was still trying to build a clientele. But, now I’m considering dumping her and going somewhere else.
See, the last three times I’ve gotten my haircut down there Sonja’s little sister, Jessica has been the one who cut it. And, she hasn’t done a very good job at all. I know she’s still new, but I can’t be having her mess up my
So the way I see it is, I have four options....
1. Go to the same barber and just let whoever is available cut my hair.
2. Go to the same barber and let Sonja’s sister cut it just as I have the last three times there.
3. Go to the same barber and say that I’d rather have Sonja cut my hair and I’ll wait til she’s free.
4. Go to a different barber.
What to do. What to do.
If I go down there and just let whoever is free cut my hair, or if I go to a different place, I’m kind of rolling the dice a bit. If I say I want Sonja to cut it, I may hurt Jessica’s feelings. I don’t think I could sit there and think about that poor little (no really, she is little. She isn’t even 5 feet tall.) girl think that I’m some meanie and have to have her look at me with those sad eyes of disappointment.
But, I don’t want a shitty haircut either.
What’s that? Tell Jessica I haven’t liked the job she was doing and see if I can’t get her to do things a little different?
Oh I don’t know. I don’t want to be rude. And I don’t want to piss off the person handling the very sharp instruments. I mean, she could just kill me while doing the old neck shave thing. That would suck! And I just saw "Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" very recently, so I know how possible this is!
So as you can see I’m dealing with some pretty heavy shit here. These decisions aren’t easy to make. And they have long term ramifications. I mean, let’s say I do cheat on Sonja and Jessica and go to different barber. And, let’s say that this barber does a shitty job. Well, I can’t just go back to Sonja’s place in a few weeks pretending nothing happened. I mean she’ll know I’ve been spending time with a different barber and I’m not good at making up stories so she’ll know I’m lying. That’ll hurt her even worse than my walking out and staying gone.
So, I guess I’ll ask you guys. My great advice giving blog friends. What do you think I should do here? Other than letting it grow out all out of control, growing a mullet or getting my head shaved of course. I’ve already dismissed those three options. Although the mullet thing isn’t the worst idea. I hear the chicks really dig guys with those!
52 Cynical Comments:
Get both Jess and Sonja heavily drunk before u change hairdressers? LOL!
Keshi.
Dude, you heard wrong.
Try a new barber. If Jessica is as bad as you say she is, chances are you'll be pretty happy with the cut you get, and you won't be slinking back to Sonja's anytime soon. That's what my avoidant ass would do, anyway!
Best of luck to you and your hair.
Melissa xoxo
Tell the girl you haven't been thrilled with the last three cuts you've received. If she takes revenge by killing you with the sharp implements, well you still wont be bothered by a lousy hair cut will you.
Jay, roll the dice baby!
I go through this all the time. Finding someone who does the job right is worth a few bad cuts but you have to keep looking for someone good. If you end up going back I doubt they will care you were missing. They will just be soooo happy to see you again. Oh, the things we go through for beauty!
Go to a new barber. Then, if the new one doesn't work out, you can always lie and tell Sonja and Sis that you had it cut in Omaha while you were visiting your sister, and boy are you glad to be back!
Just tell Sonja that you'd rather she cut your hair. I go to the barber every week for a full shave and I won't let anyone else but the owner do it. I just tell them that I'm really picky and if someone else does it I don't feel right, and they understand.
Or, buy a Flowbee.
How specific have you been with Jessica about how you want it? If you've been very specific and she still isn't doing it right, then it's time to ditch her. Track down the girl who used to be there who left. Or wait for Sonja to do it and don't worry about the girl's feelings because people shouldn't become stylists just because people are afraid to tell them they suck. You really would be saving the world, Jay, not just your own hair. Think about it.
Em
I would go to a different barber and pray for the best and if that one doesn't work out, try another new one the next time. Just keep trying until you find one you are really happy with.
Comment Deleted: Oh yeah?
Keshi: That's a pretty good plan!
Mellisa: Yeah, the whole idea here is to avoid any problems or confrontation. Totally. ;-)
Lu: I hadn't thought of things that way. Great idea!
Knight: "Oh, the things we go through for beauty!"
Tell me about it!
Betty: Oh but one lie leads to another and then another and then pretty soon I can't keep them all straight. That's a slippery slope there. ;-)
Avitable: I know a lot of people who refuse to let anyone other than the owner cut their hair. Probably a good policy.
Emmeline: I think tracking down the chick who used to cut might be the best idea. I think I know where she works. I guess I could just go out there and if she isn't there turn around and leave.
Carmen: Yeah, I could just go to a different one each time. Maybe I should take a notebook and take notes on each one and do this all scientific like?
Cut you losses and move to a different town.
Screw it. Do what I do. Have your head shaved every three to four months. Of course you actually have hair, so I am a little out of my realm here. Cheers Jay!!
having know many hair dressers personally, make an appt with sonja (if you like the way she cuts your hair) or go wherever the girl who cut your hair good
don't settle for a good cut let sonja know if you continue to go that you want her to cut your hair or someone else equally good
life is too short to have bad hair
thanks for liking my stems
What if you talked to Sonja quietly on the phone before you go in and tell her that you don't want to hurt her sister's feelings but that you haven't been satisfied with how she cuts your hair and would it be possible for her to cut your hair herself. That does two things. It shows you for the kind sensitive person you are and it flatters Sonja be saying you like her skills enough to prefer her over anyone else. ??? Maybe ??? I don't know what I'd do. Worry. That's what I'm best at. And have very, very, very long hair...
Phone and make a specific appt with Sonja, as Raven suggested though you should let her know that you were not happy with Jessica's work. Jessica needs to be told, but it can come from her boss/sister.
Of course, if Sonja does a bad job, then go find the other person who used to cut your hair.
Treat your self and pic a saloon that's kind of cool - spend the extra couple of bucks and have them give you a mini makeover - kinda like asking them to do what they would want. Or how they thought your hair would look best. I've done it a few times and it gets you outside your comfort zone and lets you see yourself in a new way/ And if you don't like it, it's only hair and grows back.
go somewhere else..I never stick with the same person very long..it's like they get bored with you and start fucking your hair up on purpose
"So as you can see I’m dealing with some pretty heavy shit here."
I think you need to go on a 3 day drinking binge. Maybe on the third day you will have a moment of clarity and everything will work out for your hair.
Tough call.
Find a place where they cut hair for woman and give that a try. It beats a barbershop.
"I’m not good at making up stories"
Liar, liar pants on fire!
Hunt down the other girl who left and go there. I'm mean really, if she is still cutting hair how far could she have gone? If you know her name just a few phone calls should find her.
It's YOUR hair. Find the haircutter who cuts your hair YOUR way. If you are like me, you are way too nice and will carry the resentment from haircut to haircut. Dump Jessie. She just can't SEE how to cut your hair. You'll get over it the minute you get a good cut. Honest. You COULD come up here and let Cheryl do your hair. She would get it RIGHT. Find your ex and go back to her.
depends on how convenient Sonja's shop is to you... if there's not another barber close by, tell Sonja you'd rather she cut your hair, if she's not available, you'll go to someone else. If that's too confrontational for you and there's another barber close by, just go there and forget Sonja.
Ha! I am still laughing at Avitable's comment..."buy a flowbee". LOL! Do they really still sell those things?
Jay, I would try to find the girl who cut your hair the way you liked it. I wouldn't take the Sonja route, blood is thicker than water, and she may feel resentment that you aren't happy with her little sister. I would just dump the place altogether and if you can't find the girl, shop around a bit. Having a good haircut is what makes us happy, when it isn't the way we like it, we get crabby. Good Luck sweetie!
Hugs,
Kimmie
Dump her!
Go and get Sonja to do it. Don't worry about insulting Jessica. She isn't someone you see every day. Those few minutes of discomfort are worth a good hair cut.
I've had fun reading through the responses.
I'd be in the same boat Jay - I hate conflict like that. I think you should try calling and setting up a specific time with Sonja.
Good luck. :)
One word - FLOWBEE
Come up here. We have the best barber in the world practically across the street. My dad even has him cut his hair when he is here visiting. Then when he goes back to Cali. he spends the other 50 weeks a year wishing he lived in MN so he could always have a good hair cut.
Jay, we've all been there..But remember, you took a risk the first time you let Sonja do her magic, no?....so, I say pick option #3, cause baby sis has had her turn and if she is going to make it in the hair bid'ness, she better develop a tough skin. Chances are, she won't view it as anything other than you preferring Sonja's style...find out from Sonja what Jessica likes and bring her a little gift to keep communication open.....you tickled me "cheat on Sonja and Jessica"..you are a nice guy Jay.
i've added you to my blog roll....let me know if it ain't cool and i'll "snip you name off"....tee hee.
I can sympathize-I've been going to the same stylist for about 15 years, and sometimes I don't like how she cuts my hair but most of the time I do. When she went on her first maternity leave I loved the cut I got from another stylist at the same salon, but didn't know how to switch without hurting #1's feelings, so I sucked it up and kept going to #1. The second maternity leave, I hated how stylist #3 cut my hair, plus she wasn't too friendly, so I'm still with #1. I did consider just slinking away and going to another salon but I'm too chicken.
My advice is, track down your favorite girl, and if you can't find her, go to another shop. If you're feeling brave, tell Sonya you don't like the way her sister cuts your hair. If I was her, I'd like to know why I'm losing clients, it wouldn't matter if I was told my sister sucks at cutting hair. Who knows, she might just be looking for a reason to get rid of Sissy.
Why don't you lie this next time and tell her that you haven't had Sonja cut your hair in so long that you want her to do it so you two can "catch up" by chit chatting. That way you don't say "GOD YOU SUCK!!" and you get out of the totally awkward position of "I don't want you to cut it."
Stay there and either ask only for Sonja or ask for someone new
OR
Find someplace new
When I moved I asked people at work where to go and got the name of a place. First cut HATED it...asked for someone new...second cut was just OK
asked for someone new..third cut LOVED it...
Look, not everyone can cut an individuals hair and it is you who has to deal with it once you leave the shop...
if Jessica or Sonja gets pissy about it...F-EM
you find a new place
Buddy, you came to the right person on this (sort of indirectly). Ive been here and this is what Ive done. Go one more time to Jessica, DON'T tell her you don't like her cuts, just say you want to try something different and be specific. Then, if she does a good job, you are in business. If she doesn't here is what you do. Act like you like it, then ask for her schedule so it looks like you want to go when she is there and then make a point to go when she is off and ask for Sonja. Your other option is to call and ask for Sonja, confess everything and ask her to come up with a way to not hurt Jessica's feelings. That's a gamble though because if they have a conflicted relationship, Sonja might tell Jess just to be mean. Good luck buddy....
Bonnie said, Cheryl, you got to go over to Jay's place. And here I am. Better late than never. Here's my professional opinion: I guess you can't make an appointments. I would call Sonja and tell her that while you liked Jessica's haircuts, you'd really prefer for her do it. Tell her you don't want to hurt Jessica's feelings. Let her handle it. It should be no big deal. You want to stay with your stylist....that's normal.
After going through all these options I think they all suck. What you should REALLY do is move to New York! Poll solved. Hair solved. AND you can hang out with me!
Jeff: That might actually be my best option.
Matt-Man: I just don't think I'd look all that good I if I went bald. It works for you though. ;-)
Charlene: The direct approach? Good plan. That usually works best.
Raven: Yeah, putting on my best sensitive guy act might help the situation quite a bit. ;-)
Reb: I wonder if Sonja has already been hearing complaints about Jess. That would make this all even easier!
Brad: Just go ahead and go Metro huh? Good plan!
Cynnie: Who could ever get bored with you??
Captain Corky: I NEVER make important decisions while sober. It's too risky.
Reggie: But, those places are damn expensive! Although they usually have some hotties working there, so there is that.
Micky T: That's the option I'm leaning towards right now. She was nice and did a good job.
Bonnie: I'm pretty sure that going to Cheryl would be my BEST option by far!
Fortune Cookies: Well, it's a pretty small town so none of them are too far off.
Kimmie: Yeah, I can't just let my hair not look good. Good looking hair makes the man, right?
Lone Beader: Just dump her and move on huh? I might have to.
Karen: See, you Jersey people don't have much problem with just doing whatever and not caring what people think. We're more sensitive down here I guess. ;-)
Dana: I'm afraid that thing will suck all my hair out.
Newt: It would probably be worth the 10 hour drive.
Jinks: Gifts? Oh I don't know about that. That's a little to thoughtful really. haha I'll add you to my blogroll when I update this weekend.
Janet: I haven't thought of the possibility that Sonja really doesn't want her sister around and is sick of her being right there all the time. That would work out well.
Talisman: Yeah, but then next time I'll need another excuse. Eventually I'll have to confront Jessica.
Bond: There are a few other options in town. I just feel bad about leaving them. But, I'll get over it.
Crseum: Ohhhh.. The old "ask for her schedule and then go on her day's off" trick. Well that does work at the strip clubs, so why not here too?
Cheryl: Well that is a very reasonable idea and coming from a professional I think it might just be the best one. Good call!
Knight: BEST. IDEA. EVER. And it would make it oh so much easier to stalk you if I was in the same city. Definitely worth thinking about. ;-)
I'd stick w/ Sonja. When Jessica's not listening, tell her "Nobody does it better" and give her a wink. ;)
I say cheat on Sonya.
I'd run from that place and never look back. too complicated, too much drama. Roll the dice on a new place. Get wild!
Hairdressers have such power! I think it's cool a guy thinks this way too. I had the same issue with a friend who is a hairstylist. I was going to her forever, and then I didn't like the way she was doing my hair. I found someone else, and felt like I was cheating on her. I finally had to "divorce" her as a hairstylist.
I would say go with the mullet. You live in Arkansas, right? J/K. I agree with fleur de lisa- try something totally new so you won't be trapped! High and tight is how I like it, personally. Go Jay!
this is late to throw in, but I would just shoot straight. You seem like that kind of person anyway. Be specific. They are there to provide a service and if you no likey I bet there are other people walking out of there no liking either. I so think it's pretty damn cool tht you care about these folks feelings though. hugs...
Once you find someone who does what you like with your hair....you will follow them anywhere (within reason, of course). I once followed my hairdresser to 5 different salons over the course of about that many years. She finally had kids and took a leave so I was forced to find someone new. I would DEFINITELY try and find your old girl (if you liked what she did to your hair). Hairdressers know this and they really don't hold grudges against each other. Hey...its YOUR money and you should get satisfaction.
Sorry this is late, I couldn't post from work. Happy 4th! Val
FOLLOW YOUR GIRL!!!
Ya don't want a messed up Cut all the time.. You can be nice by like Leaving with a smile on your face...
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
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